Build communications

My grandmother was a bit of a rebel in her day, always breaking with tradition. Why this is I will never know because I didn't spend the time with her to find out. Anyway there is no doubt that that trait has passed to my mother and I think down to me as well.

My grandmother had a very special relationship with my cousin Anne. Anne seem to see grannys house as a safe haven. Somewhere where things could be discussed person-to-person not bound by the 'I'm older so don't shock me' usual arrangement. I only now have suddenly thought that my granny's death must have been difficult for Anne, but I never heard it mentioned.

Well it would appear that my mother is following the old arrangement with my girls. Olivia and Isobel go down for a 'sleepover' where I know they get to stay up really late, go walking at night (which most kids love cause it's not the usual arrangement) and they sit and talk about stuff. So the clever old fox is building the same arrangement all over again .... nice to see.

When gran (my mother) asked the girls would they come and see her when see was old there were some interesting results. Olivia (7), being the lady she is, said "yes gran and I will bring an apple tart". Isobel (the rascal) had other ideas. 'No gran, sure you will be in the grave, gravy in the grave' (don't ask I have no idea) and then proceeded to dance around singing 'gravy in the grave, gravy in the grave'. Now there is a different view on things.

Item 3 ==> Try building a special bond with your grandchildren and give them an alternative to home, an alternative place to feel safe. If there are any issues at home then this is where they will run and good communication will solve anything.

Item 4 ==> Always talk in preference to other forms of communication. None of the others have the range of emotions required to let someone know how you feel. I have seen so many situations get out-of-hand purely because of misunderstanding. Avoid text messaging for important stuff and NEVER engage in 'ping-pong texting' (she said .... so I said ...)when things get nasty. It just a bad idea.